


Love Doesn't Pay

by Pearly_Pornography



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Dacryphilia, Depression, Enjo Kosai, F/F, F/M, Memories, Prostitution, Suicide Attempt, Underage Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:42:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearly_Pornography/pseuds/Pearly_Pornography
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Close your eyes you'll be here soon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Doesn't Pay

_She held her hand and walked her across the beach._

_"It's been a good day, Kayochin."_

_She closed her eyes. The air smelled of salt and sea. She wanted to stay like this forever._

As she kissed him, she pretended it was someone else. She just wasn't good enough to only be an idol. She wasn't good enough to only work alongside all of her friends. Her friends who would be disappointed in her. 

_"Kayochin, look at the sunset."_

_She turned her eyes towards the sky. It was a scramble of colors like a palette of oil pastels. Rin smiled and grabbed her arm, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm so happy to be here with you."_

"Here's 10,000 yen, just like you promised."

It wasn't much for the atrocity she was about to commit. But it was enough to convince her to do it. The threw the money into her purse, fumbling with the highest button on her uniform top.

_"Look! I got one!"_

_Rin raised her hand, a crab scuttling in her palm. "I'll call him, uh...I dunno, nyah." She rose a hand, showing off a catlike pose and a silly face._

_"Coco?" Hanayo thought of it in the moment._

_"I like it!"_

"Woah, these're top-tier!" The strange man pressed his hand to her bared bosom. "So many freckles, too. You're great, Koizumi-san!"

"Call me Kayochin." She faked a smile, her cheeks dabbed with small tears. The man ignored her pain.

"You're a first-year, but you've got the tits of a 20-year-old!"

_"You won't leave me, will you?"_

_Hanayo always asked, because she was paranoid. She needed to know._

_"I wouldn't for all of the money on the planet earth."_

_Rin always said the same thing, but it always meant just as much._

"Wanna see if I can abort this little bastard and make a new one all of my own?" The man put his hand on her stomach, which was slowly becoming taut and round. Soon enough people would notice.

"I was going to have him removed anyway."

"How do you know it's a boy?"

She shrugged. Secretly she was worried the kid wouldn't be. What kind of role model was she?

It'd be best to let a doctor just take the kid out. So long as nobody saw her, and said what she most feared.

_"Erichika's been real popular lately. Boys just can't keep their hands off her."_

_"I wish I was like her."_

_"Aw, Kayochin! I still like you. I wouldn't date you if you weren't you."_

She had already been injured twice from this before. The hymen wasn't supposed to tear, it's just that nobody had any regards for her body. She squeezed her eyes shut and bore through the pain, a trickle of blood sliding between her legs.

"Ohh, Kayochin. Even though you do this all the time, you're tight like a virgin!"

"Thank you."

She wished she was good for something.

_"Kayochin, please."_

_The city lights down below blinked in her gaze, blurred by tears. "Kayochin, we all love you. Please don't do this."_

_"I'm sorry." She was so anxious. Everyone was looking at her. "I can't do anything right."_

_"Who'll be our third member when you're gone?" Honoka grabbed Kotori's arm. "There's no replacement for you."_

_"Can't sing 'Nawatobi' without the only singer." Nozomi spoke as well. "It wouldn't sound the same."_

_"There's nobody I could love like I love you, Kayochin."_

_Staring down into the lights below, she weighed her options. In the end, she was overcome with emotion, turning to Rin and grabbing her and embracing her and crying and just not feeling so alone. Everyone came around her, Eri and Umi and Nico and everyone else. If she died, she'd never have this._

"You say you like this, but you're barely even wet."

"Y-you can't tell because of all the...blood..." She inhaled, swallowing the word. It's not normal to bleed like this during sex.

"I suppose. Either that or you've got some kind of freak cunt!" The man grunted in the most primal of ways, lodging the hole in her body with a thick gob of his seed. "Ooh, man, you got it right outta me. Crazy bitch." He dropped a few coins on her chest. "Here's a tip for good service."

She laid there for what felt like a long time.

_If Rin saw me like this, she'd hate me._

Her finger delved into her undercarriage, swiping out a mixture of cruor and semen from deep within her. No amount of time would allow her to clean out her entire body before she caught some sort of disease.

_I shouldn't be alive._

She threw her sweater over her shoulders. Her arms dotted with scars and freckles. Every time someone commented on them she wished she didn't have them in the first place. Her eyes were dotted with moisture as it crawled down her face.

_I'm a liar. I'm a fraud._

Her face contorted as she tried to hold back the inevitable sobbing. Her chest heaved. She breathed and cried so hard that it hurt, and her face was hotter than an Egyptian summer. Snot and tears dribbled down her wrinkled face as she wept. This had escalated further than just compensated dating.

_I'm sorry._

Nobody loved her as an idol. Nobody loved her as a whore, either. Only Rin loved her. But love didn't pay.

If love paid, she'd still be dirt poor.


End file.
